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And the sugestion is....Porky-pine....what?...porcupine
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Once upon a time there was a little girl, and the little girl was very lonely, which was strange because she came from a big family with lots of brothers and sisters, and a mom and dad.  Everybody loved her and everybody got along.  For some strange reason the little girl was still very lonely.  This confused everyone who loved her and it even confused the little girl herself.  She never quite understood why she was so lonely.  It was as though a piece of her soul was missing.


One day she went out for a long walk, because that’s what little girls do when they’re contemplating life.  She walked down the streets of her neighbourhood.  She walked to the park and saw other kids playing.  Then she noticed a very large animal sitting up in a tree.  She had never seen one of theses animals before.  It was brown, and it had strange spots all over its back.  She stared at it for a long time.  Before trying to entice it to make some sounds, or whatever, she ran over to the playground to see if anyone would join her in her quest to discover this animal.  Nobody seemed to see her when she was yelling and screaming at them.  They all just kept playing, they kept going up and down the slides.  So she went back to the animal. 

Although the other children didn’t notice her, this animal did.  He looked at her for a very long while and then came out of the tree.  He was looking up at her, which she thought was very strange because, he looked at her as if she was another person, as if he could understand what she was thinking.  He didn’t say anything, but as she started walking away he started following her.  She turned around and looked at the animal and he just stopped and stared at her.  She walked a little further and he came along.  He followed her all the way to her house.  She wasn’t sure if her parents, or the rest of her family, would be happy if she brought the animal inside so she ended up hiding it in a little shack that was in her backyard.  Every day she would feed it fruit and nuts and food that it seemed to really like.  It became her only friend. 

She was still curious as to what kind of animal it was.  Every day it grew a little bigger and got a little pointier.  She took a picture of it with her iPhone and posted it to her Facebook page.  Instantly she got responses and comments back and realized that she had been nurturing a porcupine, an unnaturally intelligent porcupine.  It would come when it’s called, it would sit it would beg, it seemed to understand its name, which was…

…Trevor.  In fact, Trevor was such an intelligent porcupine, he could WRITE his own name.  She was so flabbergasted once when he picked up a crayon and wrote his own name on the wall.  She was shocked!  She asked him, “What else can you write?”  Trevor picked up the crayon and wrote her name on the wall as well.  She didn’t think that he could actually understand her.  She took pictures of Trevor writing on the wall, Trevor writing tons of different words all over the place.  One day she got a very interesting post on her Facebook site.

The post said, “Hello Sally (which was her name), I see you have a very intelligent porcupine that you have been housing as a pet.  I’m very interested in purchasing a porcupine.  You see, I have been a porcupine lover all my life.  I’ve seen what intelligent porcupines can do.  In fact, when I was about your age I had my own intelligent porcupine.  Its name was Jeffrey.  Although he didn’t write, he could dance, it’s very amazing.  He could also swim.  I would like to come and visit you sometime and perhaps purchase it, if you would be interested.”  Sally thought long and hard about this.  Trevor had become a good friend to her, and since none of the other kids seemed to care, she needed someone she could talk to.  But she also needed money.

Sally was deeply conflicted, until she realized that Trevor was the missing part of her soul.  She could never bear to be apart from him.  The interested party turned out to be a front for a government agent whose a representative from a program that had been experimenting with enhancing the intelligence of animals for combat purposes.  The animals, however, were smart enough to question why they should be in combat at all, and left for more peaceful pursuits like dancing and English.  It turns out that Trevor had a capacity for higher math as well and had solved several complicated equations that had baffled mathematicians for years.  Sally and Trevor, sadly, were never able to share this with the rest of the word because they had to go into hiding for the rest of their lives.